Headaches
by Vice Fandonna
Summary: A new breed of Akuma equals headaches Sending Kanda to Hogwarts equals headaches Wizards' arrogance and bad penmanship equals headaches Sending in Allen afterwards equals headaches Over-nosy Golden Trio eqauls headaches. Then unwanted people arrive. Later Yullen. Rated T for lots of swearing Some limes or lemons maybe in later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Headaches

A new breed of Akuma= headaches Sending Kanda to Hogwarts= headaches Wizards' arrogance and bad penmanship =headaches Sending in Allen afterwards=headaches Over-nosy Golden Trio= headaches. Then unwanted people arrive. Yullen

_**I know I shouldn't but I couldn't help myself. Anyway here's my new story.**_

Chapter 1- Oh So I'm To Be A DADA Professor

Kanda stared at the Supervisor blankly, OK it was official the man had finally cracked. After all it wasn't like the guy wasn't bonkers already but yeah he had finally tipped over the edge, Komui was completely fucked up in head. So yeah he stared blankly at the man who was smiling cheerfully at him like he totally wasn't asking him to do a ridiculous action or believe this cock-a-bull story of wizards, witches and magic that the man had spent the past twenty minutes fabricating although a new breed of Akuma was a nice interesting touch he'd give the nut that.

"No" he replied staring down at Komui's outstretched hand, because why on earth would Komui ask Kanda Yuu to wave a magic wand like some low-rate children magician to satisfy his fanciful whims. Komui surely knew that the Moyashi or the Usagi would be a far better choice. Heck even one his Scientist stooges would make a million times more sense.

"C'mon Kanda take it and give it a wave" Komui coaxed shaking the stick in his face. Kanda looked around the room, thinking that maybe this was a prank because he actually didn't want the Supervisor to be carted off to a madhouse prison who knows what jackass of a stooge the Vatican would send in his place, there were enough jackasses (himself) and stooges (Link) as it is.

Kanda was in a rare mood (try once in a blue moon cause like seriously has anyone seen the moon blue) of joviality so he decided to humour the possibly mentally unstable man and took the stick. Nothing happened. He stared at Komui with a what-the-fuck look. Why was he here again, oh yeah some random Finder had told him that Komui needed him probably for a mission.

"Well give it a wave" Komui instructed completely oblivious (or maybe just ignoring) Kanda's look. Kanda huffed his rare jovial mood was fast disappearing into the ether but he did as the increasingly likely cracked man said. He got a shower of midnight blue sparks for his trouble.

Kanda raised an eyebrow that was it? If the now exceedingly likely cracked man had dragged him in here and wasted his time just for a stupid party trick someone, was well he wasn't sure what someone was going to get but it was going to be unpleasant that was for sure. Subconsciously his other hand strayed towards the hilt of his sword.

So too busy musing as to what punishment he would dish out Kanda utterly missed the jubilant look on Komui's face because the sparks should not have warranted that ecstatic a look. Kanda was wholly unaware that with just a flick of his wrist he had sealed his fate.

And that is how one hour later he found himself in a square cupboard sized room with a chair, a table and books. Oh and the bloody stick that he waved around like a fricking loony.  
>The books were everywhere. They covered the table leaving no square inch of space; they filled the floor space so completely he couldn't even tell if the flooring was stone or wood. And the books was mind-numbingly dull the words horribly spelt and often the books were hand-written and the writing was sometimes barely legible the ink smudged or faded with the letters running into each other.<p>

It also didn't help that the training itself was getting ridiculous, there is only so much of the stick waving, and jabbing and slashing and flicking that he could take then the messed-up pronunciations of the fricking mumbo-jumbo he was forced to utter. And the condescending tone of Komui so wasn't helping. So he told Komui so.

"If you do not shut up you _will_ get a close up view of what your innards look like."

Komui only sported the now familiar condescending look, "Now Kanda, I know this is all frustrating, but you have to get this down to pat for your next mission, or else you'll be like an idiot. Is that what you want?" before walking away giving the grumpy (and turning homicidal) exorcist his space. The Chinese man rather liked his entrails inside his body. Kanda scowled deeply then buried his head back into the dusty old book and started waving his hand around with the bloody stick, (a wand the Order has filched off a dead witch centuries ago) just as the book instructed.

Kanda was having a headache just looking at the pages and he was supposed to memorize this shit.

Thirty minutes later and he was going a mental rampage decimating all he blamed for his predicament, Komui right up there on the Number One spot of his list.

This was impossible, how the fuck was one supposed to cram in YEARS worth of magical knowledge in one month? How in the seven hells was he supposed to gain enough knowledge to pass himself off as a Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor in one FUCKING MONTH? It was **fucking impossible**.

Like seriously what the fuck was with these wizards, Kanda stared at the book disbelievingly, did they get a kick out making up wishy-washy words and terrible spelling, he was pretty damn sure Magic never had a k and what's with all the extra e's at the end of words.

He slammed shut the tome, (he had enough of looking at spells that he would never use) and opened up a newest looking volume of the stacks –**multiple** underlined and in bold, the room was buried in them. This edition was early 1900's according to the publishing date and it looked as if it had contained important info, ignoring the stupid fanciful title: A Neophyte's Guide to Terrible Spells, Forbidden Curses and the Dastardly Dark Arts.

…_._

_Among all the evil curses there are three that are more malevolent than any other, these are named the Unforgivables. The Unforgivable Curses are as follows The Imperius Curse; __**Imperio**__- a decisive slash and a strong will, which allows the castor to bend and force the subject to do whatever they want. Many crimes are often unsolved due this curse. The Cruciatus Curse; __**Crucio- **__the will to cause the subject a copious amount of pain, is__a curse that causes unimaginable agony to the subject. So strong the pain it's been claimed it can even drive the subject to insanity. Then the most evil of all them all, the Killing Curse; __**Avada Kerdarva, **__as the name clearly states usage of the curse causes the subject to die. There is no sign or evidence of this curse aside from the corpse. Any usage of any three of these spells means instant incarceration into the most foul of all prisons Azkaban. _

Kanda (wonders what an actual useful book despite fanciful language could do to one's temper) leaned back frowning; wizards had it so easy, too easy. It was literally wave a magic wand, hocus pocus and hey presto deed done. Then he shrugged, not his problem, he's just there to investigate that new Akuma breed that had sprung up in the wizarding community, and it was to be him simply because he met the requirements.

That still pissed him off, that of course _only he_ had the right requirements to do this farce of an exorcist's job. It couldn't be a Finder since one had to be magical to be able to assimilate into the wizarding community and it seemed Innocence was 'magical' enough to do that. So this reconnaissance mission fell to an Exorcist.

Krory had already got a mission and had jet-setted off somewhere to Romania, or was it Russia, Allen wasn't due back from his mission for another two months and the other Exorcist's were away on missions he figured or incarcerated in the infirmary.  
>But it was Lenalee's and Miranda's cases that really pissed him off. For some jacked off reason they hadn't reacted with the stupid sticks and he did which was stupid as he was <span><strong>not<strong> a wizard (like Vatican _duh _would make sure of that) so the only 'magical' thing about him was his Innocence which was what the bloody stick was supposed to and had reacted to.  
>So Lenalee with her Crystal Innocence should be far more 'magical' than him. Komui theorized it may be because he was a Second Exorcist but Kanda honestly didn't give a shit why he was the only one the stinking wand deemed 'magical' enough and that was all that was needed to piss him off.<p>

So that was the reason as to why he was stuck, trapped in a room trying to cram a bunch of, in the long run, fucking useless knowledge. Fuck, the shit he had to for the Order. Although, his evil mind crackled, some practical practice will be needed and who better to aid him than his fellow colleagues. A smoky blasted Komui from the receiving end of a spell come to mind and he smirked. With that in mind he dove into the following pages

A fortnight later

Kanda groaned into his pillow, a pounding ache in his head that refused to subside. Today had been awful. He never wanted to see another book again, for life. Now that a good portion of a Library and a multitude of hours of practice had been drummed into his very being (he was leaving to assimilate himself into wizarding world in two days) it had occurred to him, that he had to teach this shit to a bunch of snot-nosed brats. He could barely handle/stand the Moyashi who was only a few years his junior in society practically the same age. How the fuck was he going to deal with fucking brats some half his age? Lord help us all, Kanda groaned internally, his headache getting increasingly bigger.

**Komui's theory about Kanda being a Second Exorcist is right. The wand would react to the 'magical' influence of Innocence but with that reasoning Equip Type Exorcists would never be wizards or witches except when synchronizing. As Kanda is a Second Exorcist it ties up that loophole.  
>The Order has books on the wizarding community because they had been aware of them since like forever. They in fact have great if distant and very rarely used influence over the community (something that I will explain and show in later chapters). Their connections are strong if only used to mask their own presence. Usage of their connections is only used to contain, hide or placate (ish) the wizarding community when the Exorcist's exploits leaks out.<br>For those wondering Lavi was out on Bookman Apprentice business, sorry but only Kanda, Allen, and _occasionally_ Lenalee ****(VERY occasionally) and by proxy ****Komui**** will be the Protagonist Exorcist characters that will feature in this story from D-Gray Man. The others will probably only be mentioned in passing.**

**This story was inspired by Fight the Good Fight, Finish the Race by jessicaknows.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU READ THIS AND NOT JUST SKIP PAST ME LIKE I WOULD, YES YOU WITH THE FINGER ON THE MOUSE SCROLL STOP AND READ!**

**Basically this is warning that nothing in this chapter happens, there is no forwarding of the plotline in fact none of the characters appear or do anything. And before you press the quit button this IS a important chapter cause if you skip you'll be very confused as to why Kanda's (and later on Allen) will be doing what they doing and why everyone is assuming a lot of things and such cause it explains Kanda's cover story in great detail and the connections between the Black Order Exorcists and the Wizarding Community.**

**So yeah READ! Cause I ain't explaining this twice.**

Unseemingly yet Intricately Linked

Like Muggles, Wizards have their own Secret Department in the Ministry the most public of them the Department of Mysteries. However there is an utterly secret organization _"within"_ (a very loose term) that excluding the Prime Minister and the most trusted from him Cabinet, that NO ONE knows the existence of. Many a wizard and witch who've worked the majority of their life at the ministry have happily –or not so happily- gone about their business without a single whisper or rumour of their existence. They were ignorant of the Black Order, for that was what they were called.

The Black Order was above the law, as they were hardly under of the jurisdiction of anyone, they were a law unto themselves and didn't answer to anyone or at least anyone within or known by the Ministry. They rarely ever involved themselves in wizarding exploits, even when Voldemort reigned they did nothing and it wasn't as if the Prime Minister of the time could somehow request their assistance if he couldn't even contact them. It was very much you don't go to them they go to you.

Furthermore there's a Division in the Department of Mysteries that even those working in that Department know near nothing about. It was simply dubbed the Cleaners and it was generally assumed (and assumed correctly) that the Cleaner's job was to clean up accidents and do damage control so it was presumed between the DoM's workers that the Cleaner Division was similar in work of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes only instead of cleaning up accidents so it's kept out of the Muggles' knowledge, the Cleaners made sure it didn't reach _anyone's_ ears. What exactly they 'cleaned' no outsider knows.

Now everyone knows of the Great Three European Wizarding Academies: Hogwarts, Beaxbatons and Durmstrang, however there are plenty of other less illustrious schools and institutes that teach magic, all around the world. Rosakurosu Academy (or Rose Cross) of Alternative Combative Wizardry is one of them. It claims to be founded in Italy somewhere, sometime in the Early Hundreds when Magic School were first being conceived and what exactly they taught well the best answer anyone will be able to find about this strangely very exclusive secretive and discreet school is that they teach Alternative Combative Wizardry. Not that anybody really went about asking about the syllabus of a no-name school that no-one has ever heard of.

These three organisations, the Cleaners, the Black Order and Rosakurosu Academy are unseemingly yet intricately linked much to the ignorance of everyone else. So from thus springs forth Kanda Yuu's cover story and past. First and foremost he was a top not-so-recent graduate from Rose Cross and his former principal, Principal K. Lee with contacts through the British Ministry managed to land him the yearly vacant Hogwarts Professor of DADA Job and if all goes well that should be all he'll ever need.

Seeing as RC taught Alternative Combative Magic that easily explained away the sword that is forever strapped to his hip. However if things get 'dicey' (What the fuck was those monster?! Why were you the only one who could defeat them?!) then he was to admit with _severe_ reluctance that Rose Cross Academy is actually the training ground for the Black Order and Alternative Combative Wizardry was really a moniker for Exorcism, because that he's trained for: to exorcist demons.

He was NOT a Monster Hunter. (Claiming that status it turned out, would cause unnecessary and unlikely to be found and completed paperwork, which in turn would cause a lot of hassle and some preventable holes in his cover story).

If anyone was to ask, and they would if the situation ever arrive to that stage, why the fuck a supposedly newly graduated (let them keep their assumptions) Exorcist was posing at Hogwarts as a Professor then he was to explain the whole reconnaissance precaution against the new breed of akumas mission. However at no point should truth of Innocence ever come up, the wizarding world should continue thinking of it as a branch of Magic, in fact the Wizarding World should be under the impression that Black Order Exorcists were a strange type of Wizards and not some sort of Hand-Picked Favoured of God Cult.

If for whatever reason more was needed or the story wasn't holding up then Kanda was to claim he needed his superiors permission to reveal more and do the whole, That's Classified, on them.

**So yeah that's it.  
>Don't worry will return back to the story and progress the story. So Happy Reading.<strong>

**I don't really expect any reviews since technically nothing happened but I'll be glad to answer any questions.**


	3. Chapter 3

Sticks and Kanda May Break My Shop

Kanda was sitting at a table at the Leaky Cauldron sipping a cup of plain mineral water (the pumpkin juice was not something he was willing to venture and try and as if he was going to befuddle his senses drinking beer, especially beer from butter. One did not have to be a genius to know how that would taste like). All fees were to be charged to the Black Order. On his table was a series of folders, files in fact that explained everything and everyone he needed to know about in the modern day wizarding community, which included their farce of a civil war. The time spent in the Order gave him the hip-hash knowledge of a newbie Defence against the Dark Arts Professor whereas the time he was spending here was to gain all those every day tidbits of life most wizards took for granted.

These files he suspected had been compiled from sources in the Wizarding Community and at first Kanda wondered why _these_ guys didn't just infiltrate the fucking school when he read later on that like standard akumas they were impervious to magic, thus if there was an attack from the fucking new breed the wizards could have had a fucking army and the best they could do was wave those bloody sticks and hope to minimise casualties.

Talking about bloody sticks, Kanda fished out the wand in his pocket and glared vehemently at it. He knew in him mind he sounded like a fucking loony but he swore this wand disliked him, like it was trying to rebel against him or something, which was utter fucking nonsense since it was just a bloody stinking stick of wood, a fucking twig for god's sake, and it worked perfectly fine at the beginning. Said freaking twig started to spurt angry red sparks burning his hands and causing him to wince.

_Screw this shit_, the wand at the very least was faulty. He got up from him table stuffing the wand roughly into his pocket and went in search for a new, better one.

_**Ding**_. "Hello, bit old for a Hogwarts first year aren't you." It was well, an old man who was balancing on a rickety ladder and was organising a stack of boxes. The stacks coupled with the whole 'old-age' vibe hand Kanda mentally blanching at the scene all too familiar to that severe headache inducer of a room. The man clambered down the ladder and faced Kanda properly.

The Old Man had white hair that rivalled the Moyashi's, clear visible proof that the beansprout did indeed have old man hair. Though Moyashi's hair was more soft probably silk like, unlike this wiry stringy hair he was faced with. No not silk like maybe more fluffy like snow, yeah snow white locks that he continuously grew out, those moonlight tresses that begged to have fingers run through them….

_**Screech**_

His trail of thought skidded to a stop. Kanda shook his head, what the fuck was that? Before pushing it to the back of him mind promptly forgotten.

"Now how may I help you" Kanda broke out of his musings and gruffly spoke, "This wand it's faulty" palming the wand and presenting it to the Old Man. "Why what's wrong with it?" The Old Man asked picking it up and looking it over. Kanda shot the man a hooded look: 'if I knew what was wrong with it I would have fucking said'. "It doesn't work, keeps resisting spells and f-playing up". Mr Ollivander hummed and then said, "Wingardium Leviosa" and a pile of boxes went flying and settled into nice neat stacks. Kanda was slightly impressed even if he made no show of it. He was impressed because 1) the spell worked fine and 2) though he had practiced magic in preparation it was the first time he had seen someone else perform it and he could tell the skill level between him and Old Man was big, so maybe this magic malarkey took some talent and skill even if in his opinion it was still bloody stick waving.

"Everything seems to be in order, a perfectly workable wand" Ollivander claimed turning the wand over in his hand. Kanda scowled, fuck he was stuck with this shitty wand, and grumpily he was about to take the wand from the wizard walk out of the shop when the wand once again generated red sparks.  
>Mr Ollivander called out, concern now lacing his voice, "Sir, is that your wand?" Kanda turned round his default scowl in place. "I mean, you're the owner of this wand, you use it?" "Yes".<p>

The Old Man looked shocked and faster than he believed possible for an elderly wizard the Old Man snatched the wand from his hands tutting as he went round back, "No, no, no never have I seen such an ill-fitted wand for a wizard, Sir how did you come about to acquiring this wand?" Kanda inwardly frowned, telling the truth was out of the question: his organisation nicked it off a dead witch who died in suspicious circumstances, centuries ago.

Yeah, no.

"It was given to me, a sort of inheritance". There that was close enough to the truth and believable enough. The Old Man shot him a look as if trying to read through his lies as he passed him an object into his hand. Kanda stared right back. Then before he could check what exactly he was holding it was swapped to something else. Wait a wand? "10 ½ inches made from elm tree, a dragon heart string core, unyielding, well give it a wave." Kanda stared dumbfounded, dragon heart string? Shrugging it off as a wizard thing he flicked the wand and a loud boom cracked round the room. "Clearly not" and the Old Man took the wand and a few seconds later gave him another one, "12 inches blackthorn, phoenix feather, stiff. A very practical wand" Ollivander rattled off. Kanda tuned him out giving the wand a wave. This scene was too familiar. A gale blew through the room knocking stacks of boxes and wands over and they rolled all over the place. "Nope give this a try".

7minutes later and Kanda was _this_ close to Mugen this old fool. A part of him wondered why the fuck he hadn't, all he was doing was wasting time. Another part of him answered this was the best fun he was gin got have through this pre-mission study period, and he was taking a sadistic and vindictive pleasure in systematically destroying this shop in surprising and interesting ways, spell by spell- which was kind of sad if you thought about it, which, being Kanda, he didn't.

"Ok try this" the Old Man seemed rather apprehensive handing the black wand over to the young man. Kanda took it, noting it was different from every other wand. From this wand he actually felt a sense of power. He gave the wand a wave and to his utter surprise a single lotus flower bloomed from the end of the wand, "15 ¾ inches, Elder with a Phoenix Core, unyielding" The Old Man looked Kanda straight in the eye, "Wands of Elder are the rarest of all wands in fact only there is one other Elder Wand that I believe is currently in usage and the person that it's rumoured to be in possession of is none other than Albus Dumbledore. Combining that with a phoenix feather what you have there is a very powerful wand. Use it wisely". Kanda was tempted to just brush off the warning but a niggling voice reminded him to at least heed the warning. The Old Man didn't seem to be prone to melodrama. Kanda respectfully nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"Very well, that'll be seven Galleons" Ollivander said. "Charge it to the Black Order, Ministry" and Kanda walked out of the shop, the wand resting in one of the pockets of his coat.

It was later on as he was about to go to bed that he realised that maybe a wand was to a wizard what Mugen was to him. A tiny bit of shame washed over him as he remembered calling the wand a bloody fucking stick then he imagined someone calling Mugen that. He suddenly felt like a dumb ass jerk and miffed that he hadn't realised till now.

"Well duh, BaKanda, you're such an idiot" he ignored the Moyashi-esque voice in his head, especially the fact he had a Moyashi-esque voice in his head.

**AN: So yeah this was all about Kanda's wand. Again not much plot wise but it had to be done. Kanda's wand was not simply just random choosing of powerful materials a lot of thought went into it.**

**Elder: They contain powerful magic, but scorn to remain with any owner who is not the superior of his or her company. Does this temperament sound familiar much?  
>Phoenix: most independent and detached in the world. These wands are the hardest to tame and to personalize, and their allegiance is usually hard won. Again sound familiar much.<strong>

**Sourced from harry potter wikia .com**


	4. Chapter 4

Unexpected Visitors

The next day he had an unexpected visitor as he came back from an early lunch. His hand moved to his hip where Mugen was sheathed to a metre, the space covered by a thin blade, from his intruder, an owl  
>… An owl?<p>

His brain kicked into gear and he instantly took in his surroundings. Everything was as it should be except from the fact there was another living being in his quarters, a living being that was squawking and hooting with fear and indignation. What the?! Then he spotted a letter and a rolled up piece tied to its leg. Oh right, owls were used for Postal Service. Sheathing Mugen, he stiffly nodded his head in as a way of apology; he was not going to vocally say sorry to a_ bird_. The owl ruffled his feather before hesitantly sticking out his leg. Kanda smartly walked over to the owl and took the letter, fumbling a bit with the clasp, seeing as he was unfamiliar with it. He read the contents of the letter:

_Dear Professor Yuu Kanda,  
>We wish to know whether or not you would like to travel ahead of the students via the Floo Network or aboard the Hogwarts Express with the students. If you decide the train then please take the tickets encased in the envelope, if you prefer the Floo Network then please return the tickets along with the customary reply stating your choice and someone will come along to escort you at an arranged point of your convenience. The Hogwarts Floo Network is a trifle different.<br>Yours Sincerely Professor McGonagall  
>Deputy Head of Hogwarts.<em>

Kanda looked at the piece once over and then pondered his decision. He drudged up a piece of info from the back of his mind that the Hogwarts Express had something to do with running through a wall to get onto its platform -looking at the tickets- Platform 9 ¾ it seemed, and the Floo Network were like fireplace transporters and supposedly rather disconcerting, if the little added side note in one of his files was to be believed. Kanda figured it'll be easier to take the train, he was familiar with Kings Cross Station after all, and how much different could a Magic Train be?

Turning the parchment over and then hurriedly looking for something to write with, he found a black biro trapped in one of the binders of the Wizarding files, he scrawled back a reply.

_I will take the train._

Then as an afterthought _  
>Thanks for the tickets.<em>

He signed himself off.  
><em>Professor Y. Kanda.<em>

Ignoring how weird his name sounded in his mind, _Professor Y Kanda_, he folded up the letter before attaching it back onto the owl's leg before turning his attention to the rolled up parchment. Unrolling it he noticed it was a newspaper, the Black Order had subscribed him to the Daily Prophet. He had to admit it was a clever idea, what better way of inconspicuously learning about the modern wizard community. Spinning round he passed by the piles of files lying onto his bed before started scanning the articles and reading them.

It was only a hoot from the owl that redirected his attention. He glared irritably at the bird, "What". The bird hooted again, Kanda stared right back, default scowl in place. The bird's squawking was getting increasingly irritating but the way it hooted and ruffled it feathers it clearly wanted or trying to tell him something. Unfortunately he wasn't exactly fluent in Owl Squawk. So Kanda turned away and ignored the owl figuring if he ignored it for long enough it would eventually go away.

9 hours later.

Kanda lounging out on his bed, sipping another class of mineral water, a mind-numbingly boring file on wizards of note, on his lap, looked up and out the window his gaze on the sky and he saw the sun setting. It was rather pretty he surmised, the pink glow as a background for the vivid red and orange streaks, like determined heavy brush strokes on a soft pale pink water wash, it was something that Old Geezer Tiedoll would like to see; this vibrant sunset as a backdrop for the startling, busy little city.

He turned his attention on the owl snoozing at the end of his bed. At some point the bird had migrated from the window sill to his table top until it finally nested itself next to him on the bed mattress, probably because the wonky wooden table wasn't all that comfy. He wasn't sure why the owl wouldn't leave it wasn't as if he paid the bird any sort of attention and he was pretty sure by now it was supposed to have left, especially with his reply. Whatever the bird wasn't irritating him but if the owl pooped on his bed the Wizarding Community will find one of their messengers laid out on a table for the eating. Although Kanda wasn't all too sure whether an owl would be tasty or not, that wasn't the point. _Bet the Moyashi would eat it regardless_ his mind drifting to the white haired midget.

He vaguely wondered how the young boy (even if he wasn't all that younger than him) was holding up. Not that he was worried about him, the kid was General and he knew he could handle himself, the Moyashi had proven himself over and over again of that fact, but yeah he just wondered. Which in and of itself was strange because he never wondered how the other Exorcist were doing, in fact Lenalee, Lavi and them lot had barely crossed his mind.

_Oh whatever, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore is perceived as the Merlin of this time, having titles such as Grand Sorcerer ,Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, Supreme Mugwump of… _

_There was something on his face. It had sharp pointy things that were digging into his head and something flatthery that was covering his mouth, this soft 'flatthery' thing that was slowly suffocating him._

Kanda shot straight up his hand snatching Mugen from beneath his pillow whirling it to face his intruder. There was a Squawk, flapping noises and his face was attacked with irritating movements before it all stopped. Out of bed and already dropped into a battle stance Kanda stared down his attacker, an owl…  
>An Owl. What?! Deja vu much and sighing irritably he placed Mugen on his bed only to find himself looking at a sleeping owl. His head moved so fast his hair caused whiplash. There was an owl sitting and preening itself on his bedside table and another owl snoozing away on his bed. Since when was there a second owl? He glared at the newest addition, <em>'What are you doing here' <em>his face clearly said. The owl hooted back, ruffling his feathers before tweeting in the direction of Kanda's bag. Kanda frowned, what did a fowl want with a bunch of papers and files? Then he noted the little note wrapped round his leg. Unravelling it from the owl's claw, he heard tutting like noise from the bird, as if he had done some naughty, naughty thing. Stupid Bird.

_To whom this concern,  
>The customary fee of 7 Sickles for the newspaper has not been paid.<br>If not paid by sundown an added 2 Sickles will be added to the price.  
>The Department of Postal Service<em>

Kanda tried not to let surprise show on his face, you had to pay for post, rip-offs. Anyway he opened up his bag and pulled out a wallet that contained some Wizarding Cash. He remembered that the Sickles were silver and duly counted 7. He had no idea how much it was in normal _muggle_ currency, but paying 7 silver pieces seemed like a lot to him, whatever, he was supposed to be covert, complaining about postal prices was not that.

~The British Prime Minister of Magic Private Office~

The walls of the Magical PM's Office are full of predecessors' portraits, along with a black blank one which was a portal to the Muggle PM's Office. It also has a mysterious mirror which hangs in a corner wall behind the great bureau table that stands in the centre of the room with a large almost throne like oak chair which is backed against a wall full of certificates and photos praising Prime Minister Fudge, and sits underneath a magnificent crystal and golden chandelier. Along the walls they're also shelves full of Wizarding gadgets and knick-knacks and hidden inconspicuously behind various other things was a small black bat-like object. Frankly when Prime Minister Fudge had walked into his office that day after his lunch break he had all but forgotten about the thing so was rather surprised to see it hovering over his desk, its bat wings flapping in time with the ticking of his silver Wizarding clock. He approached it surreptitiously trying to remember what the flapping thing was when like a thunderbolt it struck him and the thought made him tremble. It was a communication device between the Magical PM and the elusive Black Order. Oh why did all the strife happen to him, there's the whole BWL Harry Potter/Dark Lord Faux Return dilemma to deal with and now there's this. Honestly he never thought he'd have contact with this Black Order, they certainly hadn't bothered the Ministry for over 100years not even with the Dark Lord's reign or the Grindelwald Invasion.  
>To be honest their existence had melted into myth and the Forgotten.<p>

Coming within 3 strides of the hovering object he drawn his wand and levelled it at the device. He didn't know whether the movement was some kind of trigger but all of a sudden a voice sounded from the gadget, it spoke English with a faint Oriental accent, but he couldn't discern whether it was Chinese or Japanese. "This is the Supervisor of the Secret Organisation the Black Order's European Branch speaking to you. It has come to our attention that our aims have integrated with your society. I am sending in one of our agents to investigate this occurrence. He will assimilate into your community as a Hogwarts Defence against the Dark Arts Professor _(of all the positions _thought Fudge_)_. We wished to give you forewarning and we're sorry for any inconvenience this may cause _(we're doing this and there's nothing you can do to interfere or overrule this)_. We'll contact you to update and notify you of any changes but we hope this matter to be resolved quickly. We expect your full co-operation (_Do as we command and don't get in our way_).

There were a few seconds of white noise in which he wasn't sure but what sounded like an explosion and a distant yell in the background before it cut off. He stared at the device dumbfound. _Of all the;_ how arrogant was that. To simply order and demand things, they bossed their way about the Ministry with no more than a by your leave completely bypassing protocol and why the Defence job of all positions, but Merlin's Frilly Boxers they were the Black Order, they had every right all meagre and secret documents telling of their existence clearly dictated their authority not only in Europe but all over the world. There was only one thing he could do. Grasping a piece of paper he quickly wrote an urgent summons for one of his most trusted advisors, Dolores Umbridge.


	5. Chapter 5

The Start of Something New

On the day that was to leave for Hogwarts Kanda was surly at breakfast. He wasn't nervous fuck no, and he certainly wasn't anxious or heaven forbid, worried about this mission. He was just simply _cautious_, yeah cautious about how to proceed with this mission, the whole not paying the owl for post was a clear reminder that he didn't have this wizard thing down, and caution was not how he did things. Not for the first (or last) time he cursed this mission, if he wasn't to blow his cover he had to take extra care not to show any ignorance and if he did he'd simply claim cultural differences. Yeah he was after all supposedly an Italian schooled Jap (he actually did know Italian fluently as well, the Vatican Education was very traditional) He went over previous read books, looking every bit a bookworm Ravenclaw so seriously studying multiple books. He noticed from the corner of his eye a blonde haired blue eyed girl peering coyly at him with some dark haired female friend, they were whispering and looked as if contemplating whether to approach him or not. Yeah no, he wasn't going to give them the choice. Gathering the books in his arms and balancing the files he gracefully rose from his solitary table and strode out of the room, ignoring the baleful glares and disappointed sighs he noticed behind him.

Up in his room he shoved the books and files into a bag which had been charmed with an Expansion Charm (for practice and camouflage purposes only of course) and said goodbye to the odd looking staff at the desk telling her to terminate his stay and that pay should be billed to the Black Order, Ministry. As he left and departed for King Cross Station he briefly wondered how the bill was going to reach the hidden, secluded (and frankly creepy and gothic) building on the mountain, probably some informant wizard of the Black Order would send it to them only for it to be lost and forgotten amid all of Komui's papers. The thoughts of bills made a link in his mind to the Moyashi and he pondered how he'd take the most likely to be forever lost and unpaid bills. His mind's eyes projected a guilt filled beansprout spewing various rubbish, sorrowful apologetic shit and something or the other or maybe… Well there was this rumoured "Black Allen" that could appear, funny how whenever he came out he was either absent, elsewhere, MIA/KIA, etc. etc., but personally he felt that the Usagi was exaggerating this _persona_ as if the naïve martyr had a cruel bone in his body.

Some akuma attacks, a pervert KO and a while later he arrived at the station with (unknowingly) only minutes to spare.

He stood between Platforms 9 and Platforms 10 having just seen a pair, brother and sister with a trolley between them kiss goodbye who he had presumed to be their mother before hurriedly travelling to the wall and disappearing through it. He was glad to have seen it; magic existing or not he wasn't prepared to run into a wall without some visual proof first. Kanda was surprised however when looking round that there was a lack of reaction from the bystanders they must have seen it. It was right in the open and everything. Except now that he was taking proper notice of the bystanders he realised that not once did they casually look over to the space between Platform 9 and 10, it was odd like subconsciously they didn't want or were told not to look. Kanda shrugged probably some form of magic or something and then went to stand in front of the platform. He unsheathed Mugen but didn't bother activating it. He rested the tip of sword against the brickwork and watched with mild yet unapparent surprise to see it slip through as if the solid brick was no more than air. Pulling the sword back out, he saw no damage to the edge. Knocking his fist against the wall it just fell through just like the sword. Satisfied he walked through. He was brought in front of an old steam engine of a train and the hustle and bustle of a crowded platform station with the added extras of wizarding life, (the owls, toads, cats, ridiculous robes and garments and stic- _wands _drawn out.) Then he properly took in the scene in front of him, students leaning out windows, the two whistle blows, families waving back and saying goodbye or leaving back out the Platform Boundary Wall, shit the train was leaving now. Roughly pushing past the crowd he ran after the train that was just starting to move, he poured on the speed brandishing Mugen to clear a path and the crowd parted like the Red Sea for Moses. Running along a raised platform for extra height he spotted a wide open window and sprinted after it. He leapt and his hands grasped the roof railing his legs balanced on the window sill. He then neatly swung and slid through the window before dropping down onto the floor in a crouch safely in the train carriage. Apparently old habits were hard to break; he couldn't even arrive onto a train normally. Lord help with this mission he fervently prayed as he smartly rose and got to his feet. He addressed the occupants of the carriage ignoring the stupefied looks on their faces, "Where is teachers' carriage?"

"Merlin Pants, you're our new Defence Teacher?"  
>Kanda shot the speaker a look and saw the boy almost shrink upon himself under his direct gaze. He nodded in answer to his question before repeating his request, "the teacher's carriage?"<br>"Ah right" the boy seemed to have gathered his wits; he couldn't say the same about the rest of the compartment, "let me show you". Kanda walked out the carriage and the door slid shut behind him. There was a short silence before a _che_ was heard and a "Well" and the boy hurried out of the compartment and led the way to the teacher's carriage, "it's just over here."

The boy, James Hawkins, 3rd Year Gryffindor Half-blood (father a wizard) walked in awe of the new Japanese Defence teacher. The way he just sailed into the train and then got up as if he hadn't done a feat worthy for the Olympics was just amazing. He looked so cool, calm and collected although he seemed rather strict his mouth in a permanent scowl which did nothing to diminish his good looks despite the fact he looked only to be in his late teens, early twenties and had hair many females would kill for. It was as if he was a superhero or a samurai from a manga or something. The navy blue with silver trimmings overcoat and the black combat boots was the clincher.  
>James struggled to find a topic or an opening to talk about, he wanted to find out about his mysterious heroic seeming new teacher, but the professor's manner hardly gave off the vibe of open and friendly. 'Come on James, you can think of <em>something<em>.'  
>"Are you planning to stay here for longer than a year sir?"<p>

Kanda looked down on the boy, fuck no was his immediate thought but he was pretty sure one year teachers weren't exactly common so why would the boy ask, oh right DADA so called one year curse, no professor lasts longer a year. James, whilst reaffirming how epic his new DADA professor seemed to be with a _Circe's Warthogs is that a sword?_ Was at this point vaguely wondering what was taking the teacher so long to answer after all he seemed to speak English perfectly fine back in the carriage.  
>"No, this is simply a form of work experience for me" Professor Samurai answered.<br>James was disappointed by this, of course he was aware of this _curse_ but since his 1st year DADA teacher had supposedly been a werewolf and then his second year an imposter Death Eater, despite their true identities they had been good teachers. Now another teacher had turned up and regardless of his youth he seemed like a capable teacher, he had been hoping that he would hopefully last for more than a year.  
>"That's a pity, you seem like you'd be a pretty cool teacher."<br>"Che"

They walked along the corridor in silence.

"How did you do that back there?  
>Kanda shot James a blank look.<br>"You sailed into the train like a stuntman in an action movie, was there any magic?"  
>"No magic" was Kanda's short reply.<br>James looked on in disbelief, "Seriously, that was pure physical abilities?"  
>"Yes" Kanda was getting testy, 'stop asking questions, and shut the fuck up' he thought.<br>James remained oblivious.  
>"Unbelievable, so you must work out a lot then?"<br>'What kind of fucking question is that to ask your professor?'  
>"Che" he muttered in irritation.<br>"Sir, what sort of things do you plan to teach in our lessons?"  
>For a sardonic moment Kanda thought of answering, Defence against the Dark Arts before realising that if he gave a stupid question the stupid answer it deserved, the Mini Usagi Bookman Impersonator, would just re-ask and ask further questions.<br>"Theory, Fitness, Practical" he answered that was how his lesson plans have been sorted out. To be frank his lessons were constructed so they were rather DIY with minimal teacher input and homework would just be continuation and completion of the lesson. He had no interest in marking.  
>"Cool"<p>

Kanda found himself in front of a compartment door labelled, Staff Only. He opened the door and entered leaving the irritant behind, a thank you never passing his lips. James was too busy nodding his head in how epic his new DADA teacher was.

**AN: Yippee Kanda's finally getting there at Hogwarts, now the fun can really start. I hope that the mini unofficial hiatus is now been forgotten with not only one but TWO new chapters them BOTH definitely being my longest so far.**


	6. Chapter 6

The Start of Something New- Part II

Kanda closed the door behind him, only to find himself standing in front of a pink blob. He mentally cursed, his hand moving straight to his hip and the blob's eyes followed the movement.  
>"Is that a <em>sword<em>?" It was a high pitched screech that grated on Kanda's nerves instantly and despite Kanda's imperceptible flinch and cringe against the noise his mind cogitated: 'sword, not Innocence, then this is a civilian'. Kanda relaxed his stance.  
>"Yes" he answered curtly before making way to brush past the –woman- and towards an open seat ignoring the other occupants' watching of their exchange with poorly disguised interest.<br>"You do realize it's against Burkzingheizer's Law to carry unlicensed arms and you're further breaking the 19th Clause of said Law by bringing it into an establishment of minors." Kanda stared blankly at her, her words translating to little more that blaa, bla, blaa, bla, blaa.  
>"Che" he uttered before deftly stepping past her and gliding into a free seat. Shock was written all over her akuma-esque face (because seriously only akumas had faces that fuck ugly) at the blatant dismissal which was further compounded by Kanda getting out and reading his files.<br>"Don't you know who I am?" The person continued demanding. Any other time Kanda would have just gone Che with maybe an added classic of Don't Know, Don't Care but if this toad (Kanda had settled with Toad) was someone he should know then such a reaction would only increase suspicion around himself, and he needed as little of that as possible. As a result Kanda looked up –slowly though to express his disdain, he wouldn't be considered as a push over through authority- and looked the Toad over.  
>Pink and squat was not listed in his files so she couldn't be too important consequently he answered with a "Should I?" The irritating thing was that the question was as much honest as it was impudent.<br>"My name is Ms. Dolores Umbridge, I am to be taking the newly created posts of Dean of Discipline and Hogwarts Inquisitor as well as holding my position as a Minister of Magic and Prime Minister Fudge's Close Confidante. 'No' mused Kanda, 'I will change from Toad to Toady.  
>Kami he fucking hated Toadies, he had more than enough unpleasant experiments with such bastards within the Black Order and now they had spawned over here on this fucking mission. What punishment was this for, what act had he done that deserved such a harsh condemnation?'<br>The Toady was clearly waiting for a response from him so in a flash of inspiration he decided to imitate the Moyashi, clearly his own methods weren't shaking this toady off and unfortunately threatening to decapitate her head was not socially acceptable even amongst the Wizarding Community.  
>"Nice to meet you" Kanda said molding his face into well not a polite smile (such facial muscles had never been used and to start trying now would wrought a disaster) but not his default scowl or the withering flat looksstares and glares just a blank face with something approaching a grimace pinching at his lips with his brow creased with unsuccessfully hidden irritation.  
>"I am Professor Kanda, the latest Defense Teacher". He didn't offer his hand.<p>

A change came over the Toady she pulled herself together and draw herself taller, which wasn't much the Toadie only reached his chest. Hey look someone shorter than the Moyashi, now he's seen it all.  
>"I see" she said in a clipped formal professional manner, "well seeing as we're both new comers to Hogwarts Teaching Staff I'm sure we'll be seeing and working a lot together in the near future." Kanda could, would only nod in response before ducking his head back into his papers the Toadie casting a curious glance at what he was reading before turning to leave and pester a different member of the staff. Well the Toadie finally left, maybe there is merit to the Moyashi's method, not that he'd ever tell him that in any lifetime.<p>

"Hello I'm Misty Stevens, the Muggle studies Professor. You're awfully young to be teaching and there was me thinking Snape would be our youngest staff member once again, he's even younger than your predecessor Remus Lupin and he was only in his thirties but, Kanda was it, you old are you"  
>'Does this woman ever fucking shut up?'<br>"21" Kanda lied, like two years made that much difference but his real (sort of) age was apparently too much for these wizards even this was the cause for amazement, case in point.  
>"Gracious, you're barely out of school. I bet you've just finished your gap year and are now looking for a steady job and you landed yourself as the Hogwarts Defense Teacher. Lucky you, I hope nothing unfortunate or unduly happens to you, you know that so called Annual Curse of the Defense Post, not that that's anything more than an old wives tale built upon a series of unfortunate coincidences." Kanda said nothing, he wasn't even listening, unfortunately she took Kanda's silence as something else more than the blatant dismissal of her presence it was. "Oh dear I hope I haven't scared you now, teaching is a wonderful thing, I should know I'm the Muggles Studies Professor but I already told you that. But seriously teaching really is good fun if fact one of my past students who graduated from Hogwarts a couple years ago, she's about the same age as you, maybe a bit younger, came back in contact…" and Chatterbox just nattered on and on with no sign of stopping or realizing Kanda's complete lack of interest and remaining oblivious to his cold shoulder much to the ire and cause of an migraine to the Undercover Exorcist.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

The Start of Something New- Part III

Kanda was glad when Hogwarts finally came into view.  
>(Oh isn't that a spectacular sight, I never tire of it) it meant finally that they were practically there and Kanda couldn't wait to get off the train and nurse this very familiar migraine. When the train finally drew to a stop he watched as the other staff walked out the door with Chatterbox still nattering away by his side in a Usagi fashion, vaguely he wondered if Chatterbox was the Usagi's mother or relative before dismissing the whimsical thought in his atypical fashion. He trailed the staff off and train and into a forest, ignoring the students now dressed in Hogwarts uniform, despite the fact the kids were the ones heading in the direction of the Castle and they weren't.<p>

"Is everybody here?"

Kanda turned to the source of the call and say a woman who was getting on in her years wearing what was frankly stereotypical old lady good witch clothing straight out of a fairy tale book, right down to the pointy hat. She held a greyish white cracked teapot. "Alright everybody get at least a finer in, no one wants to be left behind." Kanda saw all the adults around him shuffle about and edge in to touch the cracked teapot so he did likewise whilst silently trying to work out what the heck they were doing. His files had missed out on large gatherings round a broken piece of crockery. Kanda being the last one to touch the pot, looked round to see what was happening, to work out why they were crowding and touching a teapot of all things, and getting uneasy when the answer wasn't coming to him. Chatterbox, who had noticed Kanda's cast over the group, whispered "It won't be a moment lad and then we'll soon be on our way" 'On our way' thought Kanda and then he felt a tug around the navel.

Dizzying colours and whirling sounds, spinning and turning, round and round –only Kanda's battle reflexes kept him from landing on his ass as he knelt crouched trying to get his bearings and one hand already on his sword. Orientated and steady Kanda looked up to find himself subject to looks ranging from amusement to shock to downright suspicion. The last one was directed from Toady and a black oily haired man with coal black eyes and pasty skin dressed entirely in long black robes looking just like a young evil sorcerer from a cliché children's animation movie/book; all that was missing was a warty nose. He ignored it all, his default scowl in place and giving nothing away.  
>"Is your first time travelling by portkey?"<br>"Yes" he answered simply before looking round. He missed the surprised glances between the teachers sharing the same thought, this his first time and he remained upright!

He was in a small room. There were sofas, chairs and tables arranged like a lounge settee and a small kitchen counter and plates placed in wooden cupboards. This was the staff room presumably. The teachers all sat down on various seats whilst Kanda decided to stand against the wall. When Chatterbox gestured for him to take a seat next to her he made as if he didn't notice and eventually the lady's beckoning ceased with the entrance of a wizardly old man a merlin lookalike old man. This would be Albus Dumbledore. Imperceptibly he straightened up, his attention caught. This man was the puppeteer behind the burgeoning civil war rebellion, the lead representative the one and only Harry Potter.  
>There was a likely possibility that if he found out his true abilities or even his reason for being here there would be attempts of recruitment or of him trying to involve him into his little war, something which was to be avoided at all costs. Looking over this man, Kanda realised that unlike the other wizards he had met so far, this man was someone he most certainly should be wary off. He screamed a sense of power and intelligence and giving a quick glance over the staff had established a strong loyalty amongst the staff that had gone beyond simple Boss and Employee aside from the Ministry Toady, there was only enmity there, as to be expected.<p>

"Welcome back to another year at Hogwarts" The Puppeteer greeted "we have two new people with us this year. Professor Yuu Kanda" here everyone shifted round to get a proper look at the Jap. Kanda stood blasé against their scrutiny especially from the Evil Wizard and the Toady.  
>"He's a graduate from the exclusive Rosakurosu Academy of Combative Alternative Wizardry, so don't be alarmed by his sword and he has the right to carry it."<p>

This was true, around a century ago and all hush, hush the _Principal_ of Rose Cross had created a document that more or less stated that any of their _students, _current or past could carry and be in possession of whatever they damn well please and no Wizarding Authority had the power to confiscate it. This was, behind the curtains, pushed by the Underground Wizarding Sector of the Vatican and put to every Prime Minister of the time in the Wizarding world, where only days, if not the day, after the bill's arrival they received word from the Black Order to pass it… so it was passed. Dumbledore was only aware that along with receiving Kanda's application was a copy of a document, signed in the power of the Prime Minister, which was more or less stated that this graduate could carry his sword

Here there were some mutterings and restlessness from the other staff but Kanda didn't have a clue as to their actual opinion of him bearing a sword. From his confrontation with the Toady there was supposedly some law breaking but like hell would he give up Mugen.  
>"He is as skilled with it as we are with our wands I'm led to believe." Dumbledore continued, "He'll be taking the Defence against the Dark Arts position. Did I miss anything Yuu?"<p>

Kanda suppressed the instinct to snarl and lash out at the old man for addressing him as Yuu but even so his calm tone was clearly forced, his body tense and rigid whilst his eyes burned with a furious anger, "No, just don't call me Yuu" there was an awkward silence, "please" Kanda amended. Dumbledore gave him a perplexed look before enlightenment came to him. "Oh my apologies I forgot, Japanese etiquette" here Dumbledore had started to address the rest of the room "to call by one's Christian name is a sign of great informality and familiarity," then Dumbledore looked back to the exorcist "will Kanda do?"  
>"Yes" and he nodded his thanks, Dumbledore gave one back. "Welcome to the crew" and with that there was a brief and polite applause.<p>

"We also have with us Ms Dolores Umbridge from the Ministry and she'll be taking the newly created posts as Dean of Discipline and Hogwarts Inquisitor where she has the power to discipline any student as she wishes, the right to inspect, regulate any staff she may want regardless of anything, and fire anyone upon reasonable grounds. Her duty is to uphold the discipline and obedience of the school and compliance to rules, to pass decrees that are to ensure the student's safety and well-being, and investigate any disturbances that may threaten Hogwarts overall security. Let's give a round of applause for her timely arrival".

Amidst her stone cold and fucking pathetic applause, Chatterbox had begun and after three soft claps clasped her hands together in embarrassed silence, which was slowly picked up in a dismal smattering amongst the rest and not at all by some (guilty) Kanda was struck with the political strife between Toadie and Merlin Reincarnate. The Headmaster had clearly painted her as the meddlesome, intrusive and bitchy witch she was and all within social niceties and without assuming to be rude all the while the speech clearly told of the interference and the extent of the power Toady had, it was practically equal to that of the Headmaster. Kanda was positive he could take the old wizard in a fair fight, the same with any witch and wizard here, he did not fancy his changes if the fight was on a different battlefield, he had to tread most carefully around this guy, oh fuckety fuck.

"Well, Minerva I believe it's time to escort our first years, and for the rest of us to get to the dinner" Dumbledore declared. The teapot lady from earlier on exited through the door and turned left whilst everyone one turned right and up a long corridor filled with moving, talking portraits.

Kanda was led to a large Hall in which there were five tables in total that took up the majority of the room, four of which were long vertically positioned dinner tables and then the fifth at the head of the room and overlooking the Hall, the teacher's presumably. The teachers quickly glided into seats, with the ease of one that told of habit. Kanda sat on one at the far end finding himself sitting next to a small cheery man. An elf or goblin of some sort, because the man only just reached his knee. My oh my, this world really were full of small people, the Moyashi would find himself a giant amongst midgets for once, Kanda thought amusedly to himself.


	8. Chapter 8

The First Supper

Dinner was a bust, there was no soba even if there was an assortment of other magically appearing rich foods (the Moyashi would have a field day). A bunch of kids got sorted via a talking singing hat, and then Kanda had to suffer through the most boring speech ever courtesy of Toady.

At least Midget Man had been kind enough to inform Kanda could talk to some _house-elves_ so that he could eat some soba during his fucking year long stay at this fucking place. Apparently they worked in the kitchen which was located behind a ticklish pear portrait.

What a fucking weird place this was.

**AN: Well sorry about the long abscense but I made up for it with plenty of chapters to read, admittedly the SoSN was one chapter but I much perfer splitting it into various parts**


	9. Chapter 9

Simple and structured.

Kanda glared at the class, there were still a few minutes to go before the lesson actually started and he, along with the class, was waiting for the last minute stragglers to arrive. The silence was stifling and Kanda didn't like it. Oh he liked the quiet frankly he was surprised that they even were able to keep their fucking gobs shut, but still the quiet was a bit eerie because of it. The door swung open and it a posse of boys walked into the room and as soon as they stepped over the threshold you could instantly see the conversation choke and die past their lips. The boys quickly took the remaining seats, they movements like a cacophony constrasting the blanketing silence.

Kanda looked over the class and deemed it ready to start.

His voice was sharp like broken glass tearing through the oppressive velvet.  
>"My lessons are simple and structured and my class rules are only two. If you can not follow them, well I don't want your stupidity to infect the classroom, so get out." Kanda paused, not for effect but simply to ready himself for the longest speech ever to flow from his mouth.<br>"The first rule is simple, when I talk you keep fucking quiet", Kanda was pleased that this wasn't going to be a problem, "the second, what I say you fucking do, no back-chat, no please, no buts, no nothing." The class could help but liken Kanda to a soldier or a hardened war veteran, or something similar, especially with the deadly sword strapped to their professors waist. Even Mad-Eye Moody, or whoever it was, wasn't this scary, at least he had a sense of humour, a twisted, crooked, morbid one admittedly.

"My lessons are routine and fall under three categories:  
>Theory, Fitness and Practical."<br>"Fitness!" some kid blurted out before a look of shock settled over her face.  
>"Yes" Kanda confirmed blandly before continuing on, he could always decapitate the interrupter later, he needed to get this over and done with first.<p>

"Theory will include a 20minute quiz on the new topic which is then going to be peer-marked. You will check your answers and make all corrections if need be. Thee rest of the lesson you will take notes from your textbook.  
>The following lesson will be Fitness and yes you will work out so you will sweat, any failure to complete any exercises will simply be completed in the Practical lesson, the same goes for any" here Kanda paused trying to rack his rather admittedly lack-lustre vocabulary for the appropriate word. He then mentally shrugged and settled for, "any bad behaviour, I will not waste <em>my<em> fucking time with _your _detentions simply because you stupid brats are fucking retarded in various shitty ways." There were looks of shock and indignation probably a result of his colourful language, _meh._

"Finally there is a Practical. The first few minutes however will be a demonstration of the spells you had learnt from you Theory lesson, that you will perform to an acceptable level. After that we will go through various combat drills, tag teaming, defence and attack exercises, mock duels and if I'm feeling up to it a Battle Royal." He noted a perk up in atmosphere at the mentions of Practical exercises although confusion permeated the air when he said Battle Royal.  
>He explained, "A Battle Royal is a free for all where near anything goes."<br>The excitement had built up enough and finally broke through the blanketing silence as fevered murmurs and excited whispers broke out. Kanda narrowed his eyes and silence descended once again.  
>"Pens out"<br>...

"Get your paper and writing stuff out read the first chapter and take notes of A Guide to Duelling, the Introduction. The last few minutes will be a class discussion on what you have learnt.  
>Well get fucking to it."<p>

The scraping of chairs and the scratches of quills filled the air. Kanda had sat back down and cursed to himself, what a stupid slip up, Wizards didn't have pens, they used those stupid Feather Dusters. So fucking stupid, this backwards place. He picked up the chalk, these brats could read and there was no way he was going to repeat this same speech for the next few days, no way in fucking hell.

Angry harsh marks rang against the blackboard the chalk eroding and being ground away under the force of his furious strokes. Upon the blackboard a concise summary of his speech was written. Now he can just refer to the blackboard and if any of the mites had a question well it was just a fucking invitation to insults. Kanda did not have the patience to deal with stupidity and stupidity was simply conducive to headaches and Kanda was better off without them, for everyone's sakes.


	10. Chapter 10

My Fine Feathery Friend

As Kanda sat down for dinner, Kanda had a bad feeling.  
>"What in Circe´s Warthogs is that?"<br>Kanda´s bad feeling intensified.

He turned round in the direction the source of the exclamist was gesturing.  
>A monstrous thing, something that only belonged in nightmares, flying with wings of doom, flew into the Hall.<br>It circled round then homed in on its target.  
>It was a robotic owl sporting a white berret.<br>It´s metallic beak opened but before it could utter a sound Kanda swung his sword.  
>There was a deafening silence and just as Kanda sheathed his sword the RoboOwl gained a clean cut and seperated in two clean halves. Kanda then drew his wand and spelled a non-verbal Reducto and RoboOwl was no more. With a flick of his wand the ashes blew off the table and Kanda sat back down before calmly taking his soba bowl and continued eating. The spell broke and the Hall erupted into a chattering fever, even the Professors took to it. Any doubt about Kanda´s skill with the sword was obliterated just as neatley as the RoboOwl<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

Don't Slay the Messenger

Kanda had his back turned to the class and thus to the door as he wrote on top of the blackboard when he heard the door open. Instantly his body tensed and he held the chalk still in mid-word, a gritting of the teeth audible to the front row, a surge of irritation visible to the whole class.  
>"Hey BaKanda-sensei" the White Devil's voice slithered through the classroom and grated on his ears. The chalk snapped in half.<br>"What the fuck are you fucking doing here you fucking Moyashi" Kanda snarled out. His back was still turned away as if trying to prolong the confirmation of a horrible truth. A stifling silence descended and frightened the students to even dare take a breath. The hooded figure stood still and you couldn't see his expression but the class imagined it to be scared with fright, but there was a sound, a chuckle to be precise; a small, mellifluous but with a mocking tinge chuckle.  
>Impossible! The students couldn't believe their ears!<br>Someone was laughing under the ire of Professor Kanda.  
>"Didn't you miss me, we got <em>your <em>message and my arrival was stated in _ours,_ he said saccharinely yet sarcasm dripped from his voice like sugar. Kanda whirled round and death glare was fixed in place and broadcasting at 100% capacity like the lethal weapon it was. Many students whimpered and cried under the glare and many adults lost bladder control and quailed under this look but this person seemed to blatantly ignore it. Who was this stranger?

Clearly the two were acquaintances of a sort. If their conversation wasn't a big enough of a clue then their matching outfits were a bloody dead giveaway. Aside from the large hood that covered the stranger's head, the gloves, and the slight differences in sleeve length he was wearing, everything was the same, right down to the stitching.  
>"The Kromowl" Allen informed chidingly. Kanda sent back a dead pan stare clearly conveying what had happened to that abomination and what he'd dearly loved to do to this one. <em>'Or maybe I'm reading too much into it'<em> Allen mused, to himself while looking over Kanda and gauging his reaction. '_Then again, I'm probably not'. _"Oh well Lavi owes me 20 quid" Allen stated shrugging. "Very well Kanda the reason for my presence is thus, I'm to be your apprentice."

Allen braced himself for Kanda's outburst but was surprised when he found his head or any part of his body not under sword point. "Huh" he said stupidly in his head of course.  
>He took of how Kanda did have a hand on the hilt of his half-unsheathed sword (or half-sheathed depending on how wanted to interpret the situation) and that his wand was absentmindedly pointed in his direction in his other hand. But what really caught his attention was the Kanda's speculative, almost devious look. Since when was Kanda devious? Bad-tempered and likely to be found wanting to flay you alive, or already doing so, yes that was Kanda. But devious, Allen wasn't even sure Kanda had ever had a cunning thought in his head. He was too direct and straight-forward but there was no denying the proof in front of his eyes, Kanda was scheming, <em>something, <em>at him. Allen wasn't sure whether to be perversely amused or scared for his life.


	12. Chapter 12

Upsetting the Applecart

A terrible silence reigned, once which was broken sharply with an angry bark of, "Sit at the back of the room Moyashi and keep your fucking stupid gob shut". Allen did as he said, with an biting retort of 'It's Allen BaKanda' silently contemplating what repercussions could occur from the now gone scheming Kanda. He slid into an absent seat in the corner of the class. Every head craned round to get a longer look at the cloaked figure trying, and failing, to get a peep under his hood. Delicate gloved hands appeared on the desktop, fingertips drumming rhythmically.  
>"Eyes to the fucking front" Kanda spat out and everyone hastily twisted round eager to escape their Professor's wrath borne from the arrival of this 'acquaintance of some sort'.<p>

The Theory lesson followed its routine structure, with pupils casting anxious glances between the cloaked figure and their teacher. The two seemed to studiously ignore each other but when they couldn't help but fall into each other's sight well, the strangers reaction was cloaked, literally, but Kanda's scowl just grew all the more pronounced. The bell rang but not a soul moved the students scared in place. "Scram brats" Kanda snarled and the students fled fearing for their lives and full of gossip to spread and water for the grapevine.

When the last student left, with a fearful back glance, the room's temperature seemed to reach below freezing. Kanda repeated his earlier, "What the fuck, are you doing here?"  
>Allen snorted, "And a pleasure it is to see you too BaKanda, have you decapitated anyone yet?"<br>Kanda's eyes glinted, "Not yet" the threat hanging ominously in the air, "now spill it Moyashi, I sure as fuck didn't call for any backup and Komuii must have been high off his ass to have sent you". Allen let the insult slide off his back as he produced Timcampy from his cloak, "Here I suspected the initial message would remain _unrecieved _so I foresaw the necessity of making a copy".  
>"Che"<br>"Timcampy you can play the recording of Komuii's message". A fuzzy screen fizzed into existence above Timcampy.  
>"Hello Kanda I got your message well kind of, I think magic messed with the mechanisms." It was that Nut of a Supervisor; <em>of course<em> he'd be involved! "Anyway I'm surprised you didn't think you could do it all by yourself but I suppose it's a very big castle and there's a lot of nosy students and you're not the most social of people…"  
>"Wait a fucking moment, I never said half of that shit" Kanda yelled out. The recording rolled on by, Komuii obviously was oblivious of the outburst. Allen smirked in amusement at Kanda's outburst, Kanda could play the cold, unfeeling, stoical bastard all he wanted but the was hot-headed as they came, his temper a raging inferno and yes whilst the jerk pissed him off, and it'd be smarter to keep away, he enjoyed poking jibes at him and getting a rise from behind that cold exterior. Oh yes he understood Lavi's insistence with calling Kanda 'Yuu-chan' despite it being hazardous to his life.<br>"So I sent Allen, he's going to pretend to be your apprentice and he'll infiltrate the students. That should lighten your workload. Well the usual business as usual, I expect monthly reports, Lenalee is so good at that unlike you Kanda you stupid octopus-" The recording was suddenly cut off and Allen thanked Tim. "Well there you have it that's why I'm here BaKanda-sensei" he smiled sardonic pleasantry with sarcastic amusement from under his hood.

Allen quickly ducked under a stream of purple, the hood flying off his head only to find the stream ricochet of the wall and hit him on the back of his head.  
>Suddenly his head felt very cold.<br>Allen lifted up his hand and petted his hand and was horrified to find nothing there!  
>"You, you" Allen was left speechless, why for was bald?<br>Kanda's inscrutable mask radiated smugness and he took sadistic pleasure at Allen's mortification but felt a small twinge of _something_ and so muttered "Che, don't be such a baby".  
>"A baby! You scalped!" cried Allen "How long does this even last?!"<br>Kanda shrugged, "A day or so"  
>"Or SO, BLOODY HELL!"<br>Kanda raised an eyebrow at the explicit, one which Allen seemed oblivious to, "you really enjoying this whole teacher wizard thing, you've just cursed me!"  
>"It's a hex" Kanda informed primly. Allen just scowled and lifted his hood back up just in time for when the door swung open and the two Exorcists turned to find themselves looking at the Golden Trio. Scowling his permanent scowl, Kanda wrote on top of the board <em>Silent Study<em> before marching out, Allen in tow. He had to announce Allen's arrival as unexpected as it was to the Upper Authority, in this case, The Puppeteer.

"Lemon Whizzbangs" he muttered as he strode past the gargoyle and he ignored the incredulous look Allen was giving him, after all, he still had the last laugh, Allen was _bald_.  
>He knocked twice on the door before walking straight in. He found the Headmaster seemingly reading a self-turning book and appearing to be lost from the world.<p>

_Che no_, Kanda wasn't fooled.

He loudly cleared his throat and stood impatiently. When the Old Man finally deigned to look up he found himself staring at Kanda's paten scowl and accompanied by a smaller, cloaked figure.

"Professor Kanda, and your apprentice I assume" Dumbledore greeted genially.  
>"Good evening Professor, my name is Allen Walker and from henceforth Kanda-sensei's student (no way was he going to call Kanda, <em>Master<em>), it is an honour to meet the leader of such a renowned establishment amongst other titles."  
>This polite formal greeting was spoken from a soft-spoken voice which was very at odds with the dark cloak and hooded face which created a sense of sinister force.<br>Dumbledore mentally frowned careful to erase any thoughts of cunning and analysis from his face; provide a mask to the one who is masked and what's wrong with the one he gives to the general public, a reputable albeit eccentric clever loving omnipotent grandfather figure (or a bumbling fool depending on perspective). Yes these two were dangerous and could interfere with his plans. Oh he had compensated for Dolores Umbridge, so that at most she would only be a pitiful nuisance in the Grand Scheme of things, but with Kanda he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. There was no way a _Ministry Backed_ Professor who was actually competent and teaching well (youth, foul language and acerbic personality aside) didn't have a second agenda. He had considered that the Ministry had actually found a suitable and willing applicant within their pocket and then given him that Defence job so that they could put in the Ministry Undersecretary into an immediate position of power, then dismissed as too much a politically astute decision from Fudge. Now this _apprentice _shows up.

"and it's a pleasure to welcome you here" Dumbledore greeted back, on top of his musing, 2to be truthful I presumed you to be younger, Kanda being rather young himself"  
>"It is understandable Kanda, since he has graduated from Rose Cross, is technically eligible to take the position as a Rokuroso mentor however he is not my original mentor, that position belongs to the now late Master Cross. Kanda is a substitute until someone more orthodox is available, until then I will be learning Wand Wizardry and Witchcraft under him." All of this was spoken from behind the draped hood. Allen spun this tale of half-truths and deceit from dual reasons, 1) so that the Headmaster felt slightly reassured by this information and he'd then explain this to the staff, or some version that was befitting for him of it, and 2) so that Kanda knew of his cover story.<br>"I see, I'm sorry Allen for your loss" Dumbledore gave his condolences. The hooded figure shrugged, "Thank you, truthfully I find it difficult to accept his death; Master Cross was the kind of man who you would think would live forever". Behind him Kanda gave a snort Allen turned his head in his direction at which Kanda's scowl deepened.  
>"If I may ask"<br>_"No you may not stupid old coot" _Kanda thought sardonically  
>"how old are you, my boy"<br>"I'm 17, I plan to be entering the 4th Year though as I'm a novice in this discipline."  
>"Oh you practice other disciplines" Dumbledore asked clearly fishing for information.<br>"Yes" Allen answered simply.  
>"Indulge me, I'm interested in your schools fascinating curriculum".<br>"It is nothing special Headmaster, we are small so instead of classes we have apprenticeships."  
>"So what exactly do you study?" Dumbledore eyes sharpened, his gaze becoming more penetrating. Allen shifted his stance but his voice was still light-hearted and airy.<br>"Headmaster I would have thought that obvious. We study Alternative Combative Magic."  
>"What exactly does that entail?" Dumbledore gaze started to become triumphant<br>"Using various forms of magic that can used for combat"  
>"Such as"<br>Allen smirked from under his hood as he swiftly answered, "Now that would be telling trade secrets Headmaster" there was a slight mocking disapproving edge that still managed to pass as simply respectful teasing. Allen knew a leading question when he heard one, thanks to the Black Order.  
>Dumbledore drew his back straight momentarily stumped and stood to his full height, which Allen refused to feel dwarfed by.<br>"I understand sometimes an old man's curiosity can run away from him," Dumbledore apologised his voice and body movements portraying sincere regret yet his gaze was now searching and wary, valiantly trying to get a look Allen in eye surreptitiously.  
>"It is perfectly understandable Headmaster, after all satisfaction is what brought the cat back"<br>after it got killed resounded unspoken in the air. It didn't help matters that Dumbledore was most definitely _not _satisfied with his answers. Allen tilted his head forward slightly to tip the hood further over his head and face. Something about the way that man looked at him was eerie.  
>Kanda decided this was a good as time to cut in.<br>"Moyashi, we're leaving" and he swept out the office but the Puppeteer's voice rang out behind.  
>"I fear we haven't yet arranged and sleeping quarters, your arrival being so unexpected" Dumbledore interjected. Allen who hadn't turned to leave yet faced and answered the Headmaster.<br>"That is alright, I'll simply sleep with Kanda-sensei"  
>"There's only one bed" Dumbledore deadpanned.<br>"Thus I shall enjoy the comforts of the floor" quoting something his late? Master had said to him once, although the original wasn't quite so nicely put.  
>"For tonight it'll have to do if you so insist" Dumbledore paused as if to allow Allen or Kanda the chance to refute this statement but they said nothing. He continued on "but you must be sorted, that way we will more easily arrange your schooling here."<br>"Sorted?" Allen asked imperceptivity frowning at the very subtle reminder of Dumbledore's supposed authority over him. "You're evaluated to decide which house you're most suited to be."  
>"I see, any preparation needed?"<br>"None"  
>"Very well, so long as Kanda-sensei agrees". This was Allen's no so subtle retort of Dumbledore's attempt to exert power over him. The Puppeteer's attention switched to the scowling samurai who had been glaring impatiently at him throughout. Dumbledore smiled supposedly oblivious (blatantly ignoring) the Exorcist's ire. "I'm sure Kanda only wishes you to receive the best education in Wand Wizardry as possible, my son."<p>

There was a slight pause when nothing was said, Dumbledore forged on, "and getting Sorted is imperative and a keystone to enjoying an Hogwartian experience". There was an expectant pause and all eyes were on Kanda whom bristled under the attention. "If it's Oh So Important then sure whatever however enjoying a Hogwartian experience is not why we're fucking here."  
>Dumbledore raised an eyebrow –at what aspects of the sentence was uncertain- "Oh is that so?" purposely leaving the question hanging. Kanda just shot him a look, and Dumbledore was suddenly reminded of Severus Snape when someone had supposedly done something stupid and/or idiotic in his vicinity, before exiting the office Allen in tow, the hooded figure nodding a parting as he left. Dumbledore watched as the door automatically closed behind them before frowning.  
>Well that upset his applecart.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Merry Christmas And Happy New Year Everyone! Well here is my gift to you all, the next chapter and it even has Yullen in it, well hints of it anyway.**

**Good Reading and Please Review**

Oh Good Times, Good Times

"What the fuck was that Moyashi?!" Kanda barked at him as soon as they had descended the staircase.  
>"That Kanda is what a pleasant conversation sounds like but I understand that your backward and primitive self would have been left in a stupor at such a thing" Allen retorted. He soon found his neck in a throttle and his feet off the ground, his bare head (of both hair and hood) smacked against a stone wall. Kanda snarled in his face, "Don't fuck with me beansprout, or you won't even be alive to regret it." His hand tightened around the suffocating throat.<br>"Can't… breathe".  
>Kanda glared at the boy for a moment before releasing him suddenly, causing Allen to sprawl onto the floor. Kanda's sharp eyes traced over the figure of the now not always-composed Allen (in ways he could never achieve) all rumpled and spread open on the floor. His eyes were wide, the missing hair making the silver pools look even bigger; his face red and flushed whilst his legs wide open.<br>The image was unfathomably being burned into his retinas and it was for some unknown reason that with some, fucking _not_ regret, he watched Allen put himself together and return to being the enigmatic hidden figure under the cloak. Suddenly Kanda felt the urge to know Allen down and tear off the cloak that hid the boy.

So he did.  
>Well knock him down at least.<p>

Allen who had not been expecting a secondary attack, found himself on his behind twice in a matter of seconds. "What the hell Kanda?!" Allen yelled indignant. It was with sadistic amusement Kanda internally chuckled at Allen's predicament.  
>"I felt like doing again. Thanks now I feel much better".<br>"You sadistic bastard" Allen grumbled as he got up, "just how messed up are you in the head anyway".  
>"Not as messed up as you" Kanda replied almost, gasp, cheerfully. Allen opens his mouth, retorts flying out to which Kanda retaliated with equally decrepitating insults, the pair bickering all the way to the Kitchens (Allen had insisted on getting food before going to bed and Kanda sneered at his gluttony) and then all the way back to Kanda's room where a whole new argument ensued – who got the bed and who had to sleep on the floor- which predictably escalated into a fist fight.<br>Oh good times, good times.

The next morning woke to a Kanda performing stretches and Allen going through his finger body press-ups whilst balancing on the leg of the chair. A quiet mutual peace had descended upon the two, it being too early to even consider picking a fight.  
>"Do you want to go for a run?" Allen asked absent-mindedly as he stood back up and rolled his shoulders. Kanda, whose eyes were flitting over the six-pack the beansprout was sporting, only muttered a <em>Che<em> which the Moyashi correctly took as agreement. Now that the beansprout's hair was no longer grabbing Kanda's attention (it hadn't reappeared yet) he realised that the boy's physique wasn't all that scrawny. Firm muscled limbs, lean and compact, the boy was still slimmer and smaller that Kanda but the height difference was now only two inches or so instead of the like an entire foot when they had first met. Allen who had noticed Kanda lasting glance asked, "Kanda is something the matter?"  
>"You're not such a beansprout" he deadpanned.<p>

Allen's pleasant mood instantly soured and he bristled snarling, "Yeah and you're still a girly haired-" when Kanda's statement actually clicked, "wait what, I'm _not_ such a beansprout?"  
>Kanda gave Allen the same deadpan stare he had given the Puppeteer that made even him feel stupid. The beansprout wilted. "You're still fucking stupid"<br>"Any you're still a cold-hearted jerk" Allen shot back instantly, "but thank, compliment received".  
>Kanda clucked his tongue and Che'd before turning to look in the other direction. "Are we fucking going or not?" Allen pulled a plain black long sleeved top over his head and headed out the door, and in the wrong direction.<br>"Baka Moyashi" dragging the boy back by the collar of his stop, "the grounds are this way" Kanda said.  
>Allen wriggled his way out of Kanda's grasp and patted himself down of the imaginary dust he had somehow accumulated. "Very well" Allen sniffed, "lead the way".<br>Kanda smirked.

**AN: Yeah so here's the chapter and please Review, I really want to know you guys' thoughts on the story so far. With my approach to Yullen, well Kanda strikes me as the kind of guy who even if he does have all the pieces of the puzzle he still wouldn't be able to put it together you know whereas with Allen if he does realise his feelings will be all martyr about it and hide and try to squash them, ie. do nothing about it. So yeah expect a lot of BST and UST.**

**May the Fun Begin.**

**Oh and please Review, I love hearing you're guys thoughts, any questions you have don't hesitate to state them, I'll always answer.**

**So Review, Merry Christmas and Happy Reading!  
>AnimeWarrioress359 <strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Apologies for the long wait but I had exams coming up so I had to put aside Fanfiction and concentrate on those. Now that _that_ ordeal is over I'm back and the next couple of chapters should be coming consecutively over the next few days. But for today here's two for you to enjoy**

Couldn't Say Part I

Lapping Hogwarts grounds works up an appetite especially if the simple jog somehow becomes flat out sprinting (Allen and Kanda really couldn't say how something of that nature could occur) Furthermore if one became caked in mud on said jog/run, sore and bruising it was the fault of British muddy weather and most definitely not any other factor like petty rivalry and childish competitions, absolutely not.  
>The pair trudged back into Hogwarts and into the kitchens where the combination of house-elves and Allen was, Kanda was convinced, a match made in hell. Only there should a person's baser desires be so easily fulfilled. The house-elves had taken one look at the Exorcists and as one yelled some spell hat mopped them and left them squeaky clean and dry. It also had put the hair back on top of Allen's head. Allen was rejoiceful and celebrated with food, food that the house-elves were ecstatic to provide. Kanda just turned up his nose at the blatant show of gluttony. He turned his attention to one of the house-elves that didn't have cry-for-any-random-thing-syndrome and inquired the time.<br>"Jacker believes it's 7:45am Kanda-sama". Vaguely the Japanese Exorcist wondered how the house-elf was aware of Japanese etiquette and honorifics then figured why question honest respect, it'll probably turn on the water works. These house-elves were such emotional and temperamental creatures and to think once upon a time he had thought the Moyashi was as bad as it could get. Speaking of the Moyashi it was time to haul his fat ass to breakfast in the Great Hall for appearances sake. "Baka Moyashi; follow me closely; do not get lost and don't stand out". Those were the very words Kanda had ordered but the stupid beansprout, being a stupid beansprout, clearly wasn't listening to engrossed in attempting to finish up his food, too busy even to make a witty comeback. With an irritated eyeroll and clenched jaw Kanda left the kitchen and their emotional workers glancing back once to ensure the Moyashi was actually following. He was.

It was true that Allen had not really been paying attention to what Kanda had been saying but these pastries were Legendary. He had kept one eye on Kanda, which to be honest was easy, Kanda was after all very pleasing and catching to the eye no point in denying that, but his mind and stomach was on the gorgeous blueberry muffins. Daintily eating and preoccupied, Kanda at a set of great big doors had gone right whereas Allen had absentmindedly gone left and it was only when a pissed looking samurai was angrily calling out that stupid nickname  
>-"It's Allen" he snapped back reflexively-<br>did he realise that he had gone the wrong way.  
>"Oops" Allen sheepishly smiled and there was some snickering from what Allen presumed were the Hogwarts' staff and students.<br>"May I welcome our latest guest, Mr Allen Walker, a student from the Roskuruso Academy and apprenticed to our very own Defense Teacher, Professor Kanda" Dumbledore introduced the albino.

Allen wondered if he had managed to follow Kanda's last order: don't stand out. Allen couldn't say he had.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Admittedly this isn't a chapter but the idea literally came to me in a dream and I just had to put it in.  
>So dearly beloved readers here AnimeWarrioress 359 presents to you<strong>

**Omake: Allen Walker and the 100+ House Elves**

Allen Walker was starving and to be honest he oftentimes led his way with his stomach rather than his head hence at a corridor Kanda had gone one way and Allen went into the opposite direction and found himself in front of the Gateway to Heaven. Completing the sacred ritual, he passed through and entered a whole new world.

"Master Walker is here" one of the house-elves Chippie cried out. At once there was a chorus of greetings and "Morning Mr Walker" 's. To say Allen felt loved would be an understatement. Within seconds plates of bacon, eggs, toast and sausages sailed across the room. They were made and delivered by eager hands and they were received by an equally eager mouth. Whilst Allen was wolfing down a bun, whilst taking a bite out of stack of maple-syruped pancakes, he noticed that the house elves had been shuffling nervously among themselves. With a politeness and etiquette that should be possible after taking a monstrous mouthful of multiple strings of sausages Allen inquired, "Is something the matter?" At once all hustle and bustle ceased and a hundered plus paris of wide round eyes all turned and fixed their startled gaze upon him, all like children that had been caught with a hand in the cookie jar. Allen masked his unease with a genial smile that had the subliminal message of '_trust me'. _This smile was borne out of practice, anyone could imagine how often he had to pull out this one.

A different house-elf, Pipper Allen believed her name to be managed to screw up the courage to say, "We have made some of those treats Allen Walker mentioned he wished he had, the Mitarashi Dango but-" the house-elf trailed off.  
>"It's not perfect Master Walker" Chippie stepped in, "and we think"<br>"No Chippie thinks" another house-elf cried out against. Chippie continued on, a scowl twisting his face, "We think, that is Chippie, Pipper, Terry, Slinky, and Tinker and Cherry and Monho and Tiffany and Hap-, and well most of us" he said crossly.  
>"Some of you" the same house-elf countered.<br>"But Jacker" Chippie ground out, "and some others think we shouldn't give them to you Master Walker for you to try but instead just try and perfect it by ourselves without input from Master Walker".  
>"Don't twist my words Chippie" Jacker cried, "Master Walker should only eat out best work not an imperfect version."<br>Chippie threw up his hands in exasperation, "We cannot make a perfect version without Master Walker trying something, we need Master Walker's preferences, which only Master Walker can give us".  
>"We do not ask Hogwarts students for their preferences" Jacker claimed.<br>"Master Walker is not even a Hogwarts student so your point is pointless" Chippie retorted smugly.

It didn't take long for the argument to escalate and truly it was a sight to behold, tiny fists and wayward magic going to blows over whether Allen should eat their dango now or later. Allen's conscience however quickly kicked in and it was with a polite but projected "Excuse me" did the silence once again settle. "How about I give you all my preferences about dango now" and a stunned silence struck.  
>"But what if it's not perfect" Jacker insisted on asking. An easy smile graced Allen's lips, his eyes softening. "There's always room for improvement, perfect is a worthy goal to strive for because of the difficulty of its attainability." Allen, no matter how often he did it, was always surprised at his ability to (as Kanda would put it) to bullshit and not only that but how effective it seemed to be. In Allen's own opinion perfect was unattainable and people were better off not trying to be perfect but shoud only instead work hard to better themselves; far more realistic.<p>

Then the floodgate of questions opened:

"So how sweet does Master Walker it?"  
>"On a scale of 1-5 how doughy does Master Walker want it"<br>"Are there any toppings Master Walker prefers?"

"Whoa hold on, one at a time!"


End file.
